What I now believe:

Liberals are Fascists. NPR are Nazis. Obama is Karl Marx without the beard. The United Nations is taking over your neighborhood school. Jesus invented the Constitution. George Soros has a plan. MSNBC is the thin edge of the totalitarian wedge. The Tides Foundation wants to put a microchip in your brain. Every White House "Czar" has been given a Faberge egg worth millions. Flat panel TVs manufactured in China have a hidden camera so they can watch what you're doing. The New Improved Black Panther Party is ACORN with nukes. Amendments other than the Bill of Rights diminish states' rights and should be repealed. All taxation is theft. God Hates Fags. The War of Northern Aggression should be recognized as such. Michelle Bachmann belongs on the Supreme Court. Happiness is a 10 gauge shotgun. Dinesh D'Souza is the best journalist in America. If you are suffering, it's God's plan; turning to the government for aid is blasphemy. If you hang a clove of garlic around your neck, no Democrat will bite you. If you're not listening to Limbaugh-Prager-Hannity-Medved-Levin, you're not paying attention. Swarthy immigrants are putting battery acid in our ketchup bottles. That liberal co-worker you think might be scheming to get you fired, really is. Every public library should have a dozen copies of whatever Newt Gingrich has written. Even Glenn Beck has underestimated the conspiracy to destroy America. If Global Warming is real, then why are they still selling sweaters at Wal-Mart? We need more rootin' tootin' straight-shootin' common sense Christian constitutional conservatives running this country.


posted by Quiddity at 11/18/2010 03:45:00 PM