Sunday, May 31, 2009

Relax, it's not a problem:

In light of Gordon Liddy's excellent observation:
"Let's hope that the key conferences aren't when [Sotomayor]'s menstruating or something, or just before she's going to menstruate. That would really be bad. Lord knows what we would get then."
The question naturally arises:
Would a menstruating Supreme Court Justice trigger an attack by bears?
Because we don't want to see bears, enticed by the scent, entering the chamber and taking a bite out of Sotomayer and then going on to nosh on the more senior members. That would be a travesty (although it would allow Obama to replace some conservative justices, but this blog's high-minded approach won't entertain such a scenario).

Fortunately, studies have been performed to test the hypothesis that bears are attracted to the odors of menstruation, and the result are reassuring:
  • Grizzly Bears - "no evidence linking menstruation to any of the attacks"
  • Black Bears - "Menstrual odors were essentially ignored by black bears of all sex and age classes. In an extensive review of black bear attacks across North America, no instances of black bears attacking or being attracted to menstruating women was found"
  • Polar Bears - "polar bears are attracted to odors associated with menstrual blood"
The only possible threat comes from polar bears, but this nation is blessed. There are no free-ranging polar bears near Washington D.C., which completely rules out a bear-attack on the Supreme Court. This nation can all breathe a sigh of relief.


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