Saturday, August 09, 2008

Olympic plans:
  • Only tune in for basketball, softball, beach volleyball, and tennis.
  • Turn off television when U.S. atheletes are not present.
  • Purchase, or at least seriously consider, all products advertized.
  • Complain regularly that not all signs at the Olympics are in English.
  • Shout out "Yeah, you're the man!" whenever president Bush and his lovely wife Laura are shown in the stands.
That should do it.

VIEWING TIP: Check the Internet for early results (NBC is on tape delay). Then, only watch the events where Americans* win. USA! USA!

UPDATE: That Bob Costas fellow is saying lots of nice things about athletes from other countries. Homeland Security should confiscate his laptop when he returns.

* because the Unites States is superior to all nations, it owns the adjective "Americans" even though technically, "America" is a word that refers to two continents.


easy on Laura, hell, she has enought of a burden to endure.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8/09/2008 6:30 AM  

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