WASHINGTON - With senator John McCain's presidential campaign in trouble, the candidate has decided to embark on a completely new strategy. In an interview with reporters, McCain said that it only makes sense to cozy up to the real power in the White House, Vice President Cheney. "Why should I waste my time saying that I agree with Bush?" asked the senator, "When I could be talking about the excellent job that Dick has been doing. The reason the Republican base isn’t supporting me is because I haven't signaled that I'm the natural successor to the real Decider in the White House. With my embrace of the Dickster, I'll get the political bounce that will propel me to decisive wins in the primaries, becoming the Republican candidate for 2008, and a big win nationwide."
Political analysts are skeptical that McCain's new direction will help him. Asked to comment, Dick Morris said, "Look, I'm barely sane, but even I think campaigning as Cheney II is a stupid move. Although maybe he has no choice since nothing else he was doing seemed to work."