MRLP:

If you go to the BBC website, there is a page of election results paired with an interactive map. If you select Derbyshire West, the resutls are a Conservative win. If you click to find the vote totals, you get:

Patrick McLoughlin	CON	24,378	47.7%
David Menon	LAB	13,625	26.6%
Ray Dring	LD	11,408	22.3%
Michael Cruddas	UKIP	1,322	2.6%
"The Flying Brick" Delves	MRLP	405	0.8%
Martin Kyslun	ING	5	0.0%

CON, LIB, and LD are the well known parties. UKIP is the United Kingdom Independence Party, which is anti-European Union. But what is MRLP and who is "The Flying Brick" Delves?

MRLP stands for Monster Raving Loony Party. And the candidate's full name is Mr Nick "The Flying Brick" Delves, who, we are informed, is of the Official Monster Raving Loony Party. Apparently there are unofficial MRLP parties; you don't want to waste your vote on them.

What is the Monster Raving Loony Party? From Wikipedia:

• [Founded by] Sutch—of Screaming Lord Sutch & The Savages
• [There were two other peope involved with the formation of the OMLRP] The first was John Dougrez-Lewis, who stood at the Crosby by-election of 1981. He stood at the by-election as Tarquin Fintim-Limbim-Whimbim-Lim Bus Stop-F'Tang-F'Tang-Olé-Biscuit-Barrel (a name taken directly from Monty Python)
• The second person who helped found the party was Commander Bill Boaks, a retired World War II hero involved in the sinking of the Bismarck, who had campaigned and stood for election for over 30 years on limited funds, always on the issue of road safety
• The Loonies generally field as many candidates as possible in United Kingdom general elections, some (but by no means all) standing under ridiculous false names they have adopted via deed poll.
• The party suffered from a number of individuals that claimed to be members—usually for their nefarious reasons—down the years. Sir Patrick Moore, the famous British TV astronomer, several times claimed to be the party's Minister for Flying Saucers. In fact, Moore was not welcome at all within the party.

THE OMRLP MANIFESTO: (2005)

• Abolish income tax, citing as always that it was only meant to be a temporary measure during the Napoleonic Wars.
• Refusing to sign up to the euro, but inviting the rest of Europe to join the pound.
• Drivers can go straight over a roundabout when there's no traffic coming "to make driving through Milton Keynes more fun".
• All speed cameras will be abolished and replaced by a new device fitted to cars which will automatically slow down to the speed limit when driven though an infra-red beam.
• Introduction of 99p coin to "save on the change"

You can visit the Official Monster Looney Raving Part website for more information.

Anyway, back to Nick "The Flying Brick" Delves. The website for Delves and the West Derbyshire Loonys gives you the poop: (partial list)

• I am the Official Monster Raving Loony Party Shadow Minister for the Abolition of Gravity.
• Derbyshire Loonys would seek Planning to upgrade and develop [the village of] Bonsal into all eleven dimensions.

There's you problem. String Theory posits either 26 or 10 dimensions. Savvy voters in Derbyshire were not fooled by the OMRLP's glib assertion that there were 11 dimensions to play with. If they fix that element of their platform, future election victories are assured.




posted by Quiddity at 5/07/2005 01:46:00 PM