We give up!

This is from the concluding paragraph of Nicholas D. Kristof's most recent essay in the New York Times:

We need a name for this war. "Operation Iraqi Freedom" never rolled off the tongue, and "Iraq war" creates confusion with the 1991 war. So send in your entries by mail or e-mail.

We don't know why we didn't think of that before. A new name! That's the ticket.

Our suggestion: Operation Ivy Peninsula Freedom Serpent Strike Iron Cyclone Desert Hammer Scorpion

ALSO: We took a quick look at Safire's essay as well. It was so slimy that we had to wash our hands afterwards. He writes: "Chancellor Gerhard Schröder, who became Jacques Chirac's toy spitz in opposing America as well as neighbors in Europe ..." Spitz is a breed of dog. Yet somehow Safire never gets around to using the word "poodle". Imagine that.

posted by Quiddity at 11/19/2003 12:58:00 AM